Making Music

For the past several months I've had a growing desire to make music again.  To be honest, I've always had this desire.  I've always said that if there was a community marching band of some sort that would let me join, I'd be in!  I started learning the dulcimer in Champaign and have enjoyed playing it at home.  And of course I derive great joy from playing the piano, but I haven't played in front of anyone in 17 years!

     I began to pray about it a few weeks ago.  Whether I enjoy making music or not, I'm not terribly good at it.  So I started to pray that God would give me the opportunity to play music again in some capacity.  And that if He did, He'd also allow me to play well enough for the occassion.  

     It was on my mind and I happened to mention to some of the ladies who produce the worship for Women in the Word.  They asked me later if I'd play for a communion service.  I excitedly said yes.  I went home and found some of my old accompaniment music and practiced.  And practiced.  And practiced.  And while the songs did get better, I still felt like I was playing very badly!  So I got more and more nervous about it!  I'd be playing while people were taking communion with no other sounds going on, so it would be really noticeable if I messed up!  

So once again I prayed.  I prayed that God would use me.  That He would make the music such that it would set the mood in the room for the women to focus on their communion with The Lord.  And that my mistakes would at least not be a distraction from their focus during the service.  

     That morning I was still not playing the songs right, sick to my stomach, and exhausted from not sleeping the night before.  Yay for nerves.  I always said my nerves helped me play faster when I was in high school, but playing faster doesn't help when you aren't playing the right notes!

    When I got to the church I was amazed at how many people were praying for me!  One of the prayer team ladies didn't even know the piano was being played that day, but had been drawn to pray over it that morning.  I felt like God was telling me, "I got this."  I so did not want to play well so that people would think I played well. But I wanted to play well so that the worship would be enhanced, so that the women there would feel more in tune with The Lord.  He is so sweet!  Everything from my devotional that morning, to encouraging texts and comments kept reminding me that when we say yes to His call, He delivers.  I can't play the piano worth a flip on my own - and I didn't play the songs perfectly that morning - but God can use me anyway.  

     He gives us passions for things and talents and desires for a reason - so we can use them for His glory. In surrendering those talents or desires to Him, He can make beautiful music.   Making music brings me great joy and I am so glad that God is allowing me to find this out again.  I will probably never be center stage, and that's ok with me. I will just enjoy being part of the background music.